My Beloved Enemy, Change.

I’ve never been one for writing about my own life.

That’s part of the reason why I’ve made this blog. It’s a sort of writing exercise, a challenge in appreciating the story that is my own.

To be honest, I never felt like I’ve lived enough of a life to write about. I have loving parents, a wonderful husband, and have put a lot of effort into maintaining my physical and mental health. I feel fine and my life has felt almost simple for some time now.

The stories I write have obstacles, darkness, and great challenges before their happy endings and their peace.

After all, light looks brightest after you’ve been in the dark.

But my life has never been boring. And if there is one thing for certain, it is that nothing is certain.

Chaos is the universe’s greatest tool in testing me, and boy has it been put to use.

I had my March planned out, you know. Even my April, too.

There were supposed to be more blog posts leading up to the release of Forever Yours on March 30th, as well as a book signing at Free Spirit Crystals in April. I thought I’d get quite far in my current writing project and even further in my marketing of Forever Yours.

Then I got the news.

Free Spirit Crystals, my dream job, would be closing. The building and everything inside it would be up for sale starting April 1st.

I took this incredibly well, really.

I asked questions, didn’t cry (immediately, have cried since), and got right to work in finding a new steady income.

That’s the thing about me and crises. I make no time for wallowing. If I don’t swim, I’ll drown.

So, I swam.

I got another job at a family owned pet supply store, took on a day of babysitting for my dear friends, and still kept one day at the crystal shop until the very end.

This incredible schedule has left me with one day off a week, my darling Sundays.

Sundays have been spent doing taxes, running errands, and still running the social media for the crystal shop as well as my promotions for Forever Yours.

This ocean of work and plans and running around has left me physically exhausted and incredibly attached to watching Gilmore Girls for the first time. (I’m on season 4, if you’re wondering.)

What this ocean has postponed, however, is the dreaded moment of realization.

This change is not temporary.

Yes, this crazy month will end. I will eventually have two days off per week come April. I will settle into my new job and my mind will not be as exhausted from the constant intake of information that comes with training.

But Free Spirit Crystals will end as well.

A store that has been my refuge since I was a young teen. When I would buy a handful of small tumbled stones and wander the two rooms of the shop for at least an hour before checking out. The store that breathed life into me as a new adult. When I’d show up right at 11 am on my off day from the grueling daycare hours and leave feeling ready to take on the world.

Free Spirit Crystals, the job that freed me from a toxic work environment and gave me the time and space to heal. The energy to plan my wedding. The motivation to finish and publish my first novel, Forever Yours.

My dream job. That’s how I’ve always described it. Ask anyone who’s ever asked.

But Free Spirit Crystals has never just been a store or a job.

That’s the thing about Free Spirit, it was alive. Created by Diane Bloom long before I was even born, Free Spirit Crystals lived and breathed in this community.

Anyone who has stepped in the store can tell you. There are moments when you touch a stone, open a book, or notice the soft glow of a salt lamp, and you feel the store’s heartbeat. You stop and breathe and Free Spirit Crystal’s soul dances with your own, and you realize it doesn’t matter if you buy a crystal, some sage, or a deck of cards.

The magic of Free Spirit Crystals would follow you home no matter what.

That’s the thing about life, it can only exist when there is a promised end.

Walmart will not die, just as it has never lived. The souless Amazon has no pulse, and it will not face death. These stores are ran, not loved, not cared for.

Free Spirit Crystals was tended to. Our garden of crystals and magic was the effort of many gentle hands. And in return, it greeted everyone who stepped through it’s doors with a living energy of light and healing.

And now we bid it farewell.

I can’t say I know what’s next. I only know what is now.

Right now, I work at the Feedbag Pet Supply. I see and pet lots of dogs and help take care of an adorable baby once a week. Right now, I am about to become a published author. Right now, I’m preparing for the adoption of a puppy into our home.

Right now, I’m swimming. I have no idea which direction I am going, if there is land ahead, or only more ocean to tread. But my head remains above the water, where I can see so clearly that this end will someday feel like a beginning.

I’ve never liked change I can’t control.

I’ve loved the change I’ve planned. The change I’ve expected, that I’ve wanted.

But change goes by no other name. Planned or not, it remains a catalyst for great things. For adventure, for risks, for taking the steps you never could have from where you stood before.

Farewell, Free Spirit Crystals. And hello, change.